Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement

I’ve been writing love letters to mosh pits since I was in high school. But this is not a love letter. There are few things I love more than thrashing around at shows with my friends. This feels like the whole point of having a body, the best part of being material. We all become newContinue reading “Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement”

Disposable Women: Some Thoughts on Bowie, My Dad, and Sexualizing Young Girls

I remember walking through the mall with my dad (age 55) and he made some comment to me about a girl in short shorts. The girl must have been about 17 and yet my dad saw no problem with his leering at her legs (and making a sexual comment about them to me, his daughterContinue reading “Disposable Women: Some Thoughts on Bowie, My Dad, and Sexualizing Young Girls”

Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme

Zooey Deschanel has been an unabashedly femme role model of mine for years. Exhibit A: I ripped a page out of a magazine, framed it, and hung it on my wall because it was emblazoned with her quote: “I want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking Peter Pan collar. So fucking what?”Continue reading “Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme”

Ho, Ho, Ho… Misogyny is Always in Season

…or “That’s Right, Even the Flu Does Not Get You A “Pass” on Sexism During the winter holidays, like many of us, I had fallen ill. Because my fridge most often contains only salad dressing, barbecue sauce, and cat food, I dragged my snotty, sleepy body out of bed and schlepped up to a cafeContinue reading “Ho, Ho, Ho… Misogyny is Always in Season”

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme

Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people. I know saying “I’m femme, but…” or using labels like “hard femme” or “aggressive femme” feels good for some femmes, but for me it always justContinue reading “It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme”

This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl

This Misogynist Moment (So Different and So New): A Collection of Moments When I Realized Men in My Life Are Misogynist One. I was at my friend’s house hanging out with a mixed-gender group of friends. Another friend was on their way over to join our rowdy game of cards and drinking, and my (cisContinue reading “This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl”

In Defense of Summer (And Manic Pixie Dream Girls everywhere)

The writer behind the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” called for us all to stop using the phrase, and even apologized for ever inventing it, in a recent Salon article. Nathan Rabin first used the phrase to describe the sexism inherent in writing Elizabethtown’s character Claire, but now sees the term spinning out of control.Continue reading “In Defense of Summer (And Manic Pixie Dream Girls everywhere)”

I love Gilmore Girls, but…

I just watched the episode “The Big One” (Season 3, Episode 16) and the message it sends to young, teenaged, college-bound girls is pretty puke-tastic. Paris had sex with Jamie (and we’re supposed to be shocked) and has to hash it out with Rory to figure out if it was a good or a badContinue reading “I love Gilmore Girls, but…”

Good girls do

Guys ‘do it’ all the time, but girls don’t really ‘do it’ that much, my sister told me, carefully tiptoe-ing around the subject of masturbation. I looked at her, thinking she’s 17, into alternative culture and fashion, and will endlessly argue her progressive views about sexual orientation and transgender rights… how can SHE still clingContinue reading “Good girls do