Bisexual and Ambivalent!: A Queer Worrier and her Queer Worries

My friend once called me out for posting a spate of ~misandrist~ content. She said she was trying to determine whether I had recently killed a man, or if was really happy with one. I was really happy with one. She assured me that she, too, “flexed her misandry muscles” the most when she wasContinue reading “Bisexual and Ambivalent!: A Queer Worrier and her Queer Worries”

Broken Pencil Death Match: Louisa

“Tonight we’re going to a party, and by ‘we’ I mean everyone. I know because I’ve been tracking the Facebook guest list. And maybe a few individual profiles. It’s going to be fun, I silently assure myself that night, when I’m back in front of the mirror applying my make-up. I wonder what boring hipsterContinue reading “Broken Pencil Death Match: Louisa”

Colour Coding: Creating Queer Bonds with Nail Art

**The following is a longer version of a femme flagging article I wrote for Shameless magazine. Check out the Shameless version, “Flag ‘Em Down” (and another story of mine!) in the Alternative Beauty issue, Winter 2015.**  Through history, queer folks have had come up with creative ways to communicate their desires. In the 1970s, gayContinue reading “Colour Coding: Creating Queer Bonds with Nail Art”

Resisting Pretty: A Hair Story

When I trim my bangs, I release my femme. There’s nothing that makes me feel more like myself, more powerful, and more femme than hacking off the overgrown fringe covering my forehead. I look back at photographs of myself as a little femme and see that I have always had the same hairdo as IContinue reading “Resisting Pretty: A Hair Story”

Story of a Femme Hatchling: My Journey to “Femme”

I can’t remember when I first used the word femme, but I remember it being the first identity or label that actually felt like it fit. I was dating my first girlfriend and quickly figured out that using the word “bisexual” meant being dismissed, and using “lesbian” or “gay” and even “queer” made me feelContinue reading “Story of a Femme Hatchling: My Journey to “Femme””

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme

Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people. I know saying “I’m femme, but…” or using labels like “hard femme” or “aggressive femme” feels good for some femmes, but for me it always justContinue reading “It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme”