Emotional Labour of the Femme

My favourite photograph of us isn’t one that garnered tons of notes on Tumblr, or one from our first vacation to Nova Scotia. My favourite photograph of us is one I took myself. I’m seated on the toilet lid, wrapped up in a fluffy purple towel aiming the camera at my feet. She’s kneeling thereContinue reading “Emotional Labour of the Femme”

Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme

Zooey Deschanel has been an unabashedly femme role model of mine for years. Exhibit A: I ripped a page out of a magazine, framed it, and hung it on my wall because it was emblazoned with her quote: “I want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking Peter Pan collar. So fucking what?”Continue reading “Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme”

Story of a Femme Hatchling: My Journey to “Femme”

I can’t remember when I first used the word femme, but I remember it being the first identity or label that actually felt like it fit. I was dating my first girlfriend and quickly figured out that using the word “bisexual” meant being dismissed, and using “lesbian” or “gay” and even “queer” made me feelContinue reading “Story of a Femme Hatchling: My Journey to “Femme””

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme

Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people. I know saying “I’m femme, but…” or using labels like “hard femme” or “aggressive femme” feels good for some femmes, but for me it always justContinue reading “It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme”