I’ve been writing love letters to mosh pits since I was in high school. But this is not a love letter. There are few things I love more than thrashing around at shows with my friends. This feels like the whole point of having a body, the best part of being material. We all become new … Continue reading Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement
This is a post about rape. * * * * I keep in casual contact with a dude I dated a year ago. A few weeks ago he revealed that he was having a “terrible” week. He said he wanted to tell me what was going on with him because he wasn’t sure I would … Continue reading Dating Men is a Public Service That Men Don’t Deserve, But Women Do
In Kathleen McHugh and Lisa Duggan’s 1996 Femme-inist Manifesto, they wrote: “Fem(me) science questions the dignity and wisdom of anyone who would wear pink without irony, or a floral print without murderous or seditious designs.” Of course, some of us unironically wear pink and/or floral — an arguably “soft” aesthetic. Does this mean we are … Continue reading Is Softness a Critical (per)Form(ance) of Femininity?
Zooey Deschanel has been an unabashedly femme role model of mine for years. Exhibit A: I ripped a page out of a magazine, framed it, and hung it on my wall because it was emblazoned with her quote: “I want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking Peter Pan collar. So fucking what?” … Continue reading Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme
Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people. I know saying "I'm femme, but..." or using labels like "hard femme" or "aggressive femme" feels good for some femmes, but for me it always just … Continue reading It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme
This Misogynist Moment (So Different and So New): A Collection of Moments When I Realized Men in My Life Are MisogynistOne.I was at my friend’s house hanging out with a mixed-gender group of friends. Another friend was on their way over to join our rowdy game of cards and drinking, and my (cis male) friend … Continue reading This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl
The writer behind the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” called for us all to stop using the phrase, and even apologized for ever inventing it, in a recent Salon article. Nathan Rabin first used the phrase to describe the sexism inherent in writing Elizabethtown’s character Claire, but now sees the term spinning out of control. … Continue reading In Defense of Summer (And Manic Pixie Dream Girls everywhere)