What We Can Learn About Femme Theory from Legally Blonde

We may never agree on what femme means, except to agree that femme’s meaning is boundless. Indeed, much of femme writing so far has bounded beyond our previous understandings, has written into the space around femme. This writing has been important interjections, slicing in to the word and carving out a space to insert ourselves.Continue reading “What We Can Learn About Femme Theory from Legally Blonde”

Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement

I’ve been writing love letters to mosh pits since I was in high school. But this is not a love letter. There are few things I love more than thrashing around at shows with my friends. This feels like the whole point of having a body, the best part of being material. We all become newContinue reading “Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement”

Dating Men is a Public Service That Men Don’t Deserve, But Women Do

This is a post about rape. * * * * I keep in casual contact with a dude I dated a year ago. A few weeks ago he revealed that he was having a “terrible” week. He said he wanted to tell me what was going on with him because he wasn’t sure I wouldContinue reading “Dating Men is a Public Service That Men Don’t Deserve, But Women Do”

Is Softness a Critical (per)Form(ance) of Femininity?

In Kathleen McHugh and Lisa Duggan’s 1996 Femme-inist Manifesto, they wrote: “Fem(me) science questions the dignity and wisdom of anyone who would wear pink without irony, or a floral print without murderous or seditious designs.” Of course, some of us unironically wear pink and/or floral — an arguably “soft” aesthetic. Does this mean we areContinue reading “Is Softness a Critical (per)Form(ance) of Femininity?”

Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme

Zooey Deschanel has been an unabashedly femme role model of mine for years. Exhibit A: I ripped a page out of a magazine, framed it, and hung it on my wall because it was emblazoned with her quote: “I want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking Peter Pan collar. So fucking what?”Continue reading “Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme”

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme

Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people. I know saying “I’m femme, but…” or using labels like “hard femme” or “aggressive femme” feels good for some femmes, but for me it always justContinue reading “It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme”

This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl

This Misogynist Moment (So Different and So New): A Collection of Moments When I Realized Men in My Life Are Misogynist One. I was at my friend’s house hanging out with a mixed-gender group of friends. Another friend was on their way over to join our rowdy game of cards and drinking, and my (cisContinue reading “This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl”

In Defense of Summer (And Manic Pixie Dream Girls everywhere)

The writer behind the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” called for us all to stop using the phrase, and even apologized for ever inventing it, in a recent Salon article. Nathan Rabin first used the phrase to describe the sexism inherent in writing Elizabethtown’s character Claire, but now sees the term spinning out of control.Continue reading “In Defense of Summer (And Manic Pixie Dream Girls everywhere)”

Period WHOAs

I realize this may sound terribly cliche coming from someone on their period, but something is pissing me off, and I swear it’s more than PMS. I have been noticing it more and more. It follows me to work and it’s even sprung up in my own bathroom directed at me by a box ofContinue reading “Period WHOAs”

I love Gilmore Girls, but…

I just watched the episode “The Big One” (Season 3, Episode 16) and the message it sends to young, teenaged, college-bound girls is pretty puke-tastic. Paris had sex with Jamie (and we’re supposed to be shocked) and has to hash it out with Rory to figure out if it was a good or a badContinue reading “I love Gilmore Girls, but…”