I’ve been writing love letters to mosh pits since I was in high school. But this is not a love letter. There are few things I love more than thrashing around at shows with my friends. This feels like the whole point of having a body, the best part of being material. We all become new … Continue reading Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement
Twenty-seven was a bad year for me. There's no way around it, it's quantifiable. Twenty-eight was also hard, but it was the year I started to make sense out of twenty-seven. It's been a slog, and I know I am not done yet. I wrote these two mantras, named after tarot cards I pulled over … Continue reading Two Mantras for 28
I almost flunked grade four because I couldn’t finish Tuck Everlasting. The book terrified me. The main character Winnie (later played by Alexis Bledel—I heard, I couldn’t watch the movie) was given the choice to live forever, or continue to age, live a human life of growth, love and loss, and, yes, eventually die. Winnie … Continue reading A Death Drive Toward Life? Or, Fun Fact: All My Planets Are In the 6th and 8th Houses
My friend once called me out for posting a spate of ~misandrist~ content. She said she was trying to determine whether I had recently killed a man, or if was really happy with one. I was really happy with one. She assured me that she, too, “flexed her misandry muscles” the most when she was … Continue reading Bisexual and Ambivalent!: A Queer Worrier and her Queer Worries
"A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience." — Naomi Wolf in The Beauty Myth "Let us break the tie with food and look at the metaphor: hungering… voracious… extravagantly and excessively needful… without restraint… always wanting… always wanting too much affection, reassurance, emotional and … Continue reading Feminine Appetites (2017)
“A man could, feasibly, sacrifice his coffee break raping a woman. That woman would then spend her entire life dealing with it. So would her daughters. So would theirs. This distribution of power is not acceptable.” -- Inga Muscio, Cunt: A Declaration of Independence I think about my mother’s mother. First married at 18 to … Continue reading How Many Generations Does It Take to Escape Abuse?
In Kathleen McHugh and Lisa Duggan’s 1996 Femme-inist Manifesto, they wrote: “Fem(me) science questions the dignity and wisdom of anyone who would wear pink without irony, or a floral print without murderous or seditious designs.” Of course, some of us unironically wear pink and/or floral — an arguably “soft” aesthetic. Does this mean we are … Continue reading Is Softness a Critical (per)Form(ance) of Femininity?