I Want a Comedy of Love: Yearning for Femme Healing, For a Soft Place to Rest

I’m tired of comedy that relies on making some specific person look stupid, gross, weird, other. I’m tired of your edgy, alienating sarcasm. I’ve never much cared to have a friend that makes “good-natured” digs at me, that tries to get a laugh at my expense. My sister once told me she hates watching TheContinue reading “I Want a Comedy of Love: Yearning for Femme Healing, For a Soft Place to Rest”

Resisting Pretty: A Hair Story

When I trim my bangs, I release my femme. There’s nothing that makes me feel more like myself, more powerful, and more femme than hacking off the overgrown fringe covering my forehead. I look back at photographs of myself as a little femme and see that I have always had the same hairdo as IContinue reading “Resisting Pretty: A Hair Story”

Emotional Labour of the Femme

My favourite photograph of us isn’t one that garnered tons of notes on Tumblr, or one from our first vacation to Nova Scotia. My favourite photograph of us is one I took myself. I’m seated on the toilet lid, wrapped up in a fluffy purple towel aiming the camera at my feet. She’s kneeling thereContinue reading “Emotional Labour of the Femme”

Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme

Zooey Deschanel has been an unabashedly femme role model of mine for years. Exhibit A: I ripped a page out of a magazine, framed it, and hung it on my wall because it was emblazoned with her quote: “I want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking Peter Pan collar. So fucking what?”Continue reading “Can Straight Women Be Femme? Visibility and the Mainstreaming of Femme”

Story of a Femme Hatchling: My Journey to “Femme”

I can’t remember when I first used the word femme, but I remember it being the first identity or label that actually felt like it fit. I was dating my first girlfriend and quickly figured out that using the word “bisexual” meant being dismissed, and using “lesbian” or “gay” and even “queer” made me feelContinue reading “Story of a Femme Hatchling: My Journey to “Femme””

Ho, Ho, Ho… Misogyny is Always in Season

…or “That’s Right, Even the Flu Does Not Get You A “Pass” on Sexism During the winter holidays, like many of us, I had fallen ill. Because my fridge most often contains only salad dressing, barbecue sauce, and cat food, I dragged my snotty, sleepy body out of bed and schlepped up to a cafeContinue reading “Ho, Ho, Ho… Misogyny is Always in Season”

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme

Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people. I know saying “I’m femme, but…” or using labels like “hard femme” or “aggressive femme” feels good for some femmes, but for me it always justContinue reading “It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme”

This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl

This Misogynist Moment (So Different and So New): A Collection of Moments When I Realized Men in My Life Are Misogynist One. I was at my friend’s house hanging out with a mixed-gender group of friends. Another friend was on their way over to join our rowdy game of cards and drinking, and my (cisContinue reading “This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl”