What We Can Learn About Femme Theory from Legally Blonde

We may never agree on what femme means, except to agree that femme’s meaning is boundless. Indeed, much of femme writing so far has bounded beyond our previous understandings, has written into the space around femme. This writing has been important interjections, slicing in to the word and carving out a space to insert ourselves.Continue reading “What We Can Learn About Femme Theory from Legally Blonde”

Dad’s House

My dad’s house was first built as a summer cottage along the U.S-Canadian border. Long before we moved in, someone hoisted it onto a flatbed truck and carried it north to a place called Puslinch, Ontario. In 1968, they built an addition off the north side but you wouldn’t know it to look at it—itContinue reading “Dad’s House”

Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement

I’ve been writing love letters to mosh pits since I was in high school. But this is not a love letter. There are few things I love more than thrashing around at shows with my friends. This feels like the whole point of having a body, the best part of being material. We all become newContinue reading “Boys to the Back: On the Subtleties of Male Entitlement”

Two Mantras for 28

Twenty-seven was a bad year for me. There’s no way around it, it’s quantifiable. Twenty-eight was also hard, but it was the year I started to make sense out of twenty-seven. It’s been a slog, and I know I am not done yet. I wrote these two mantras, named after tarot cards I pulled overContinue reading “Two Mantras for 28”

A Death Drive Toward Life? Or, Fun Fact: All My Planets Are In the 6th and 8th Houses

I almost flunked grade four because I couldn’t finish Tuck Everlasting. The book terrified me. The main character Winnie (later played by Alexis Bledel—I heard, I couldn’t watch the movie) was given the choice to live forever, or continue to age, live a human life of growth, love and loss, and, yes, eventually die. WinnieContinue reading “A Death Drive Toward Life? Or, Fun Fact: All My Planets Are In the 6th and 8th Houses”

Bisexual and Ambivalent!: A Queer Worrier and her Queer Worries

My friend once called me out for posting a spate of ~misandrist~ content. She said she was trying to determine whether I had recently killed a man, or if was really happy with one. I was really happy with one. She assured me that she, too, “flexed her misandry muscles” the most when she wasContinue reading “Bisexual and Ambivalent!: A Queer Worrier and her Queer Worries”

Feminine Appetites (2017)

“A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience.” — Naomi Wolf in The Beauty Myth   “Let us break the tie with food and look at the metaphor: hungering… voracious… extravagantly and excessively needful… without restraint… always wanting… always wanting too much affection, reassurance, emotional andContinue reading “Feminine Appetites (2017)”

Dating Men is a Public Service That Men Don’t Deserve, But Women Do

This is a post about rape. * * * * I keep in casual contact with a dude I dated a year ago. A few weeks ago he revealed that he was having a “terrible” week. He said he wanted to tell me what was going on with him because he wasn’t sure I wouldContinue reading “Dating Men is a Public Service That Men Don’t Deserve, But Women Do”

How Many Generations Does It Take to Escape Abuse?

“A man could, feasibly, sacrifice his coffee break raping a woman. That woman would then spend her entire life dealing with it. So would her daughters. So would theirs. This distribution of power is not acceptable.” — Inga Muscio, Cunt: A Declaration of Independence I think about my mother’s mother. First married at 18 toContinue reading “How Many Generations Does It Take to Escape Abuse?”

Is Softness a Critical (per)Form(ance) of Femininity?

In Kathleen McHugh and Lisa Duggan’s 1996 Femme-inist Manifesto, they wrote: “Fem(me) science questions the dignity and wisdom of anyone who would wear pink without irony, or a floral print without murderous or seditious designs.” Of course, some of us unironically wear pink and/or floral — an arguably “soft” aesthetic. Does this mean we areContinue reading “Is Softness a Critical (per)Form(ance) of Femininity?”