I Want a Comedy of Love: Yearning for Femme Healing, For a Soft Place to Rest

I’m tired of comedy that relies on making some specific person look stupid, gross, weird, other. I’m tired of your edgy, alienating sarcasm.

I’ve never much cared to have a friend that makes “good-natured” digs at me, that tries to get a laugh at my expense.

My sister once told me she hates watching The Big Bang Theory because the whole premise of the show is to laugh at the nerdy, awkwardness of the main characters.

As someone who navigates the world feeling anxious and alienated most of the time already, this type of comedy leaves me feeling pretty panicky. 

Why do we think it’s so funny to hate each other? To point out each other’s flaws, or marginality?

I am so very tired of being unable to sustain a casual conversation with my coworkers without some snarky interjection passed off as a joke. Of being called a “crazy cat lady” or being told I dance “like a baby.”

18843677205_9b3d863aaf_z

Photo by Raven Murders

I’m yearning for gentleness. For smiles. For a friend. For connection. To be folded in, to be welcomed. To be appreciated, in all of my softness. To laugh out of joy, not out of bitterness. I want a comedy of love, not hate.

I’m tired of battling my way through daily interactions. I’m tired of being interrupted, of fighting for space, arguing for care. Of trying to keep up with your snark. I feel like a tennis player running around the court, trying to anticipate the direction of your hits and lobby them back with ease.

I’m tired.

It’s exhausting moving through this world as a femme, as a queer, as a feminist. As someone whose daily (femme) labour means carrying other creatures with her. The world is ragged and is making me ragged, and I’m looking for a soft place to land.

I want a laugh that feels good, that I can feel good about. And I want to find some soft creatures like me that want to laugh at some softness, too. That want to put off hardness just another moment longer, and appreciate our softness together.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s